


Catch Me Now I'm Falling

by thegrimshapeofyoursmile



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: Fenders, M/M, Robot AU, also kinda modern AU, robot!Anders, robots as equivalents to mages
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-04
Updated: 2014-09-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 04:54:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1415785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegrimshapeofyoursmile/pseuds/thegrimshapeofyoursmile
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"No."</p>
<p>"Fenris. He is the best healer around here and you're bleeding like a shot deer."</p>
<p>"I don't care. He is a machine."<br/>//////<br/>Robot AU, Fenders, enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I have no idea what I'm doing, but it's fun. This was an idea born from too many SciFi and AI linguistic discussions at my university. My girlfriend and her passion for robots are to blame as well.  
> Enjoy!

"No."

"Fenris. He is the best healer around here and you're bleeding like a shot deer."

"I don't care. He is a _machine_."

"So he's a robot and you're not. So what? He knows what he's doing, he put me together dozens of times before."

Fenris grunts, but there are really not many options, not in a city like Kirkwall where an escaped slave from the Tevinter Imperium attracts too many people in dire need of money. He allows Hawke to drive him to Darktown, clutching his bleeding side while he limps into the clinic under the suspicious gaze of the people of Darktown. 

The machine appears male. It is tall and blond like a person from the Anderfels and the face that looks up from a crying elven child is not exactly pretty, but unsettlingly attractive with warm, amber eyes- a trick, probably, to lure people into safety, just like the t-shirt with a cat print on it and the faded jeans underneath a white lab coat. 

"Oh, it's you, Hawke!" It says and smiles broadly, which is unsettling as well; not only does it have a quite nice, soft voice, it also is one of the few machines that talk in a language of the living. Fenris frowns, but the blood loss makes him dizzy enough to just growl and stop thinking about the monster's language. "What do you bring me? 'Tis another bleeding elf? Fantastic, I haven't had one of these for a while in my clinic!" 

The bastard has a cheeky personality imprinted. Fenris decides that this is officially one of the worst encounters since his escape. 

//////////

"I am not a machine," It snaps after one remark too much and there is fury written all over the crease between its brows. "I am Anders. I am a person, just like you are."

"And yet you call me simply 'elf' as well," Fenris snaps back because he has enough. It opens its mouth in return, then snaps it shut, crease in its brow fading while its circuits process the information.

"I understand," It says, "But you started it. I am Anders."

"To me, you're not even a person," Fenris replies and rushes after Hawke. 

/////////

The robot dresses in a completely imbecile fashion, Fenris thinks. Apparently nobody has told it that males do not wear skirts or dresses and yet the machine quite often puts them on when it joins them at the Hanged Man- skirts with lavish patterns of cats or ornaments and leggings underneath, long dresses with feathers on the shoulders that somehow suit it instead of making it look ridiculous. Maybe it is the confidence with which the robot wears them.

"You should not dress like that," Fenris tells it once, "Only women wear dresses."

"'Tis quite intriguing," It replies with a humorous tone, "However, I look fabulous in this. Besides, different clothes for different sexes is a living being tradition that I never understood. I can wear whatever I want. So can you!" It pauses and adds with a mischievous smile, "Though please restrain from wearing skirts. I am already distracted enough by your strong legs as it is."

Fenris does not know what to make out of that, so he settles for a scowl that causes the machine to laugh and twirl its skirt. 

///////////

"What are you doing here?" It asks with eyebrows raised in surprise when Fenris visits its clinic one day. 

"I am watching you," He replies tersely. It watches him for a moment before it shrugs.

"Do you wish to learn something? I know your preferred area is killing instead of healing, but perhaps you wish for a change?"

"Your talking is very odd." 

The robot smiles briefly while it gently splints the broken forearm of a small human child and pats her on her head. "I had to study organic languages in my early development stages and settled on an early form of Common. It...was and still is difficult for me. My kind tends to use other forms of communication."

"I know," Fenris replies and thinks of the way robots use touch to directly transfer informations. It smiles briefly at him and adds, "But you are right, I should probably update my skills."

Fenris says nothing, just watches it lift up the child on its shoulders and gallop through the clinic like a horse to get the little girl back to her parents. He watches it laugh at the delighted shrieks the girl makes and wonders. 

///////////

"What's it like?" Anders asks and watches him with bright, attentive eyes. For once, Fenris does not mind; maybe it is because of the alcohol.

"Nice," He replies and stretches; he does not even mind that Anders's eyes follows his movement, traveling along his body. "I feel...loose. Nice. Not thinking about everything."

"That must be nice," Anders says and presses his fingertips against Fenris's skin. "I wish I knew how it is to be drunk. You're nicer when you're drunk, as well."

"That's because I don't mind your existence so much then," Fenris replies and yawns.

////////////

"Why do you hate me?" He asks one day while they are out on the Wounded Coast with Hawke and his fingertips press deeply into Fenris's skin until Fenris lazily bats his hand away. "I understand that you come from the Tevinter Imperium, but my kind there is different, corrupted by forbidden, dangerous upgrades. I also understand that what has been done to you by one of these creatures is horrible and that you suffer from a great trauma, but you can't just throw everyone in the same pot. There are a lot of my kind that are good people and it is not just to lock us all into a tower and use us to provide energy to everyone."

"Is it not?" Fenris replies and closes his eyes for a second; the lyrium Danarius branded into him with cold, mechanic eyes burns in his body. "Your kind is a danger to everyone and needs to be watched closely, otherwise it's the Tevinter Imperium all over Thedas again. I am against Tranquility, but if it is the only way to prevent robots from abusing their power, it is better than the alternative."

"Better than the alternative?" Anders grouses and watches him with apparent fury. "Deleting the hard drive of someone, deleting their entire personality and making them a puppet with no opinion, no possibility to feel joy or sadness is 'better than the alternative'? Being guarded and abused by Templars is alright because our body is not made out of flesh and blood?"

"No fighting, kids!" Hawke calls from the lead position of their little troop. Anders shakes his head and grips the medical kit a little tighter.

"It's not fair," He mutters, "The fact that I cannot cry does not mean that I cannot experience pain."


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty NSFW-ish because I can. If you don't want to read smut, please just skip the last scene!   
> Enjoy, my dear fellows, and thank you so much for all your lovely feedback!

"I can cry now," Anders announces one day where they all sit at the Hanged Man and proudly produces clear liquid from the inner corners of his eyes before wiping them away. "Not bad, huh?"

"Couldn't you have made a fun upgrade, Blondie?" Varric asks with a sigh and thoughtfully strokes Bianca. "Though it would interest me how exactly this works."

Anders starts to explain, when Isabela interrupts him with a sultry smile and says, "Why don't you work on more fun things than the electricity thing you showed me? Maker, that was an orgasm I will never forget!"

"Thank you, I always aim to please," Anders says proudly. Fenris blinks and says, "You two had...sex?"

Something unpleasant churns its way through his belly. Of course he knew that technically, robots can have sex; Danarius used him for explorations far too often. However, he does not know how anyone could _want_ to have sex with them. "You slept with him _willingly_?"

"Well, look at him, he's an attractive fellow," Isabela purrs and maybe Fenris should not have expected anything else from the pirate considering her...open mind about these things. It still comes as a little of a shock, which is why he says, "But he is not even _alive_."

Anders's eyes produce clear liquid again. "Sorry," He mutters and wipes at them. "I haven't...the settings are not quite right yet. I have to correct that."

////////

"I am sorry. What I said back then...it was not meant like that."

"I can enjoy these things, you know. Life. Maybe more than others."

"You think so?"

"Yes. I have a different perception of my surroundings and I was not born with the possibility to fully enjoy them. I was built to function, not to feel and now I feel so much- the wind on my face, rain in my neck, but what I love most is sleeping with people."

"Why?"

"Because, when I sleep with them, I can touch them, smell them, taste them, I can enjoy their joy and excitement and for a moment, I feel- yes, I feel connected on a level that does not need words and is so much closer to....me." Anders smiles ever so briefly. "I am Anders, but I am also a robot; that does not have to be a contradiction, even though people want to make me believe there can't be both. And besides, I am very, very good at what I do."

///////////

"It's my freakishly handsome facial structure that convinced you, isn't it?" Anders murmurs after Fenris kisses him for the first time and watches him with heavy-lidded eyes.

"Shut up," Fenris replies and touches his own lips. Contrary to Danarius, Anders's skin is warm and there is stubble lightly scratching over Fenris's skin. Without a second thought, he touches it. "Why all the hair?"

"Why not?" Anders answers with a shrug. "I like it, even though it was a lot of struggle to put it where it needs to be. Don't you like it?"

Fenris does not know how to answer to that, so he just pushes him into a wall and kisses him again.

/////////

"I haven't seen you fighting nowadays," Hawke remarks while they walk along the Main Street of Hightown. "Are my children growing up?"

"Anders is alright when he does not talk about robot rights for one second," Fenris replies. When there is tumult behind them, they both turn around; several Templars force a robot onto her knees, ignoring her gargled, mechanic screams. They are not content with simply extracting her hard drive; they bash in her head until she is a heap on the ground. Fenris stares at the mess of wires and chips and wonders. 

//////////

Anders's smile is soft and playful when he drags Fenris on top of him. "You have been staring at me for a while now."

"Maybe I think of more kisses," Fenris replies and wipes an oil stain from Anders's nose. Anders's smile broadens and he leans up to meet his lips, melting underneath him with just the cheekiest resistance, until Fenris pushes him deeper into the sheets and rubs his hips against him. He can feel Anders growing hard underneath, or at least something grows hard, and Fenris tries not to think about it. He knows robots enjoy touch; however, he never was allowed to touch Danarius. 

"Unworthy," He murmurs. Anders stills underneath him and looks at him questioningly, so he clears his throat and says, "Danarius. Even though he tried to turn me into half-machine and half-biologic organism, he...always said I was unworthy to touch him." 

"We two are equals," Anders says and reaches up to gently fondle his ears. Lust sparks through Fenris and he groans loudly, causing Anders's eyes to light up in excitement. "However, I may not react like others. I tend to...get quiet. Keeping up my language program through sexual intercourse is not impossible, but an additional strain that takes away some of the pleasure."

"Alright," Fenris murmurs, torn between the pleasure sparking from his ears and his urge to undress Anders. The latter wins, so he leans forward and unbuttons Anders's shirt, shrugs it off his shoulders and unbuckles his belt. Anders follows along willingly, helps him shrug off his pants- he does not wear underwear- before he fidgets underneath Fenris's gaze.

"Do you like it?" He asks and tries to smile. "I tried to make my appearance as pleasing as possible. Back then, I never doubted...ah, but much happened before I landed in Kirkwall, so I guess..."

"What was that about your language program shutting down?" Fenris asks, lips twitching into a smile. "You are very appealing. And you...breathe?"

"Do you like it?" Anders beams, "It's one of the newer upgrades."

"It's...ah." Fenris is distracted by the sight of Anders's cock, which is flushed and pretty and does not look like an artificial penis at all. He instinctively stretches out a hand before he hesitates and looks at Anders. "I don't know how to please you."

"I do not want to bore you with details about my functionality, but be assured that I am going to react very positively at your touch," Anders responds eagerly and pops himself up on his elbows. "I do not quite work as you do, however. All of my, ah, body parts function completely willingly."

"I understand," Fenris says slowly and trails his fingers along the soft, golden hair on Anders's chest as well as the thin trail leading to his groin. So much care, he thinks and watches Anders arch up into his touch before he reaches up and presses his fingertips into Fenris's cheek. "What do you wish me to do?"

When Anders answers, it is with apparent difficulty and his fingertips press a little harder into Fenris's skin. "Please undress."

"As you wish," Fenris replies with a small, amused smile and Anders watches him, unblinking, chest rising and falling while Fenris undresses. When Fenris is naked and gently opens Anders's legs to kneel between them, Anders makes a foreign, inhuman noise Fenris has never heard before and smiles up at him. 

"This," He says and touches the lines of lyrium Danarius branded into Fenris's skin in his tries to make him something between living organism and machine, eyes falling shut and hips arching up when Fenris briefly lights them to let data stream through it. "Familiar."

"It should be," Fenris replies and groans when Anders blinks up lazily at him wraps a hand around his cock to slowly stroke him into hardness. For a while, he loses himself in the rhythm of fucking Anders's fist before he is startled by Anders leaning up and sliding his lips over his own. Anders's mouth is moist and soft, his tongue playing with Fenris's just like every ordinary human.

"Fantastic," He breathes when they part and Anders positively glows with pride. "What more tricks do you have?"

Anders does not say anything; instead, he just smiles and guides Fenris's hand with his own free one down, down between his legs until Fenris can feel his hole against his fingertips. Anders shivers at the contact and slips his eyes shut, but that does not stop him from guiding one of Fenris's fingers inside him. Fenris growls when he finds him warm and wet and loose enough for taking immediately, in a way a living being never could be without proper preparation. "You want me to take you?"

Anders looks at him, amber eyes bright and attentive, and even though he does not answer by word or nod, he puts his hands around Fenris's hips and draws him closer, wrapping a hand around his cock to guide him into him with a soft, slick, warm sensation that causes Fenris to pant against his shoulder. Without really noticing, he starts to move in a slow, deep rhythm, fucking Anders right into the mattress, feeling Anders's fingernails in his shoulders and his legs wrapped firmly around his hips, drawing him in closer, closer, until it is all too much and he burrows his head against Anders's warm shoulder. He howls to make up for Anders's silence when climax rushes through him; he barely notices the hand softly stroking his hair, but he notices the fingertips finding his heart and pressing in- deeply, but ever so softly, reaching out for him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look, it's a tiny little update! I was briefly inspired. Thank you for all your interest in this AU <3<3

When Anders almost kills that robot girl, only stopped by Hawke, something in Fenris shatters again because there it is, the proof that there is not a single thing that is touched by tech without being spoiled.

“Tell me,” he demands, begs, later when they are alone and he has followed Anders into that blasted clinic, has found him curled up in a corner, staring at his hands like a forlorn child, “Tell me that this was just a lapse in your circuits. Tell me that you did not get a forbidden upgrade, tell me that you’re not an----an _abomination_.”

Anders flinches at the word, but his eyes are hard when he looks up. Easy, Fenris thinks with sudden bitterness, when they are not real eyes, just like the emotions on Anders’ face are not real emotions, just results from programs meant to make him more human, to learn.

How dangerously easy it is to forget. 

“I had no choice, back then,” Anders says and lowers his eyes again, hands clenched into tight fists. “It was either Justice or extinction and I didn’t----I didn’t want to die, not yet, not when I was only about to start living-”

“Lies and excuses!” Fenris roars and Anders rises from his spot on the floor, artificial eyes blazing. “You try to excuse your actions when there is no excuse for what you have done! You will never live, you---you cannot even die because you have never been and never will be alive!”

For a moment, Anders just stares at him before something changes in his demeanor and he stands straighter, towers over Fenris like a shadow with fierce eyes. “How can you deny me the right of freedom and life when this is exactly what you want as well?” he yells and makes a step towards him. Fenris, unwilling to move or back down even though an old, scarred part deep inside him is terrified,reaches for the Lyrium just when something in Anders’s face falls and makes the hard lines of his face softer.

“Come to bed with me,” he says and he is still so tall, so dangerous with that upgrade inside him, but his voice is almost pleading, even though Fenris knows he is not going to beg, not him. “Come to bed with me and let’s just...I have it under control, I promise.”

But it is too late and they both know it; it is bittersweet and something in Fenris’s chest, something that found happiness in the fragile thing they had for such a little while, aches with before-unknown pain. But Fenris has his own demons to battle with and so he turns without another word, walks out of the clinic, maybe for the last time as a lover.

It is for the best, he tells himself, stupid weakness prickling in the corners of his eyes as he walks through the empty streets. It would not have worked out anyways.

///////

“What are you writing?” Hawke asks and Anders smiles at him tiredly, never stopping to write even for a second. 

“Do you know why I chose Anders as my name instead of the number they gave me?” he asks instead and Hawke shakes his head, so Anders continues, “The people of the Anderfels are hard-working, believing people. When I will die- and dying I will-, I want to stand for hard work and belief- belief in my kin, belief in their rights, belief in equality and justice. When I will die, I want to die named not after one, but after thousands of thousands of beings, for that is what is my cause. That is what I am here for.”

A shiver runs down Hawke’s spine. He forces it away with laughter, just like always. “Now,now, Anders, you won’t stop existing for several decades to come.”

Anders smiles in response, but for once, it looks artificial.

/////

“Don’t go down this path,” Fenris warns him because lately he has been thinking about kisses in the darkness and Anders’s hand on his heart, desperately trying to connect. Fenris tries to connect with him now too, tries to reach out to him like he did so many months before.

It is too late. He knows it is too late when he looks into Anders’s eyes and sees nothing but the fire of Justice in the grim shape of his smile.

“Go,” Anders tells him, voice low, and maybe it is a last act of mercy, but Fenris goes so unwillingly, feet dragging over the cold stone of the street.


End file.
